The Big O (The Virgin Diaries) by Bellus HJ

Author:Bellus, HJ [Bellus, HJ]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2016-03-13T08:00:00+00:00

11

Cookie dough, where?

“Olivia.”

I turn from staring in the microwave, willing my leftover Mexican food to cook faster to Scout with her legs perched up on the table in the staff room.

“What?”

“You have to try this.”

“Not a damn chance.” I turn back to staring at my beans.

“Seriously, I’m going to do it with Taylor.”

“That’s real reassuring.” I pull the steaming take out box from the microwave and sit next to her.

“Don’t be a stuffy bitch since Oren promised the pot at the end of the rainbow.”

“I’m not.” I slap her thigh and steal a grape from her bowl. “I’m just done with your antics.”

“Okay, listen. My hair stylist told me that when you cook for your loved one that you’re supposed to rub it in your armpits.”

“What?” I choke on the damn grape. Karma at it’s best.

“She made cookies for her man and rubbed the balled up batter in her armpits before baking and he went wild for her. It’s pheromones and your partner will ravish you.”

“You’re kidding me, right?”

“Nope. Another lady was getting her hair done and said the same thing. So, I’m baking cookies tonight and doing it. This is the gross part; it’s not like you need to be super clean it’s better to have your natural oils and smell on you.”

“It’s official. You’ve lost your fucking mind, Scout.”

My phone dings and Scout just rattles on.

Oren: How’s it going?

Me: Going.

Oren: It’s been a damn long week away

I think before I type out a text to him. I don’t want to show him just how damn needy I am.

Me: I miss you.

Oren: I miss you, too.

Me: We still on for Saturday night?

Oren: Yeah, I’ll be home early Saturday morning.

Me: Enjoy the Hot Cop Conference and don’t be hitting on any other first grade teachers. I’m kind of fond of you.

Oren: Will do

I set my phone back down on the table and try to focus in on Scout and her latest insane idea.

“So, why would you do this? You and Taylor screw like bunnies.”

She shrugs. “I just don’t want to lose the spark.”

“What’s going on?” I push her.

“He’s been distant and I know it’s because both of our jobs are super busy this time of year.”

“You’re overthinking it. He loves you.”

“Enough about me. I’ve got this armpit and pheromone shit under control.” She shoves her sandwich in her mouth. “When you seeing Oren next?”

“He’s been gone all week at a cop convention or training or some shit like that. We are going out tomorrow night after I work at my dad’s shop.”

“Going to slide into second base or shoot for a home run?”

“I don’t know. I guess we’ll take it as it comes.”

The batty old third grade teacher interrupts us. “I hate to tell you, Olivia, but there’s no cop training this week. That’s at the end of the month.”

“Oren’s new so maybe it’s something else the others don’t do.”

“Think what you want, dear.”

The bell rings and the teachers begin dispersing.

“Don’t listen to her.” Scout pats my shoulder. “She came to school with cat shit in her hair last week.

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